Empathy

25/01/2008 by Ellie at TFP.

Empathy is one of the most powerful tools of compassionate communication. 

Yet it is very difficult: Don’t just do something, stand there (Buddhist saying). 

I noticed that I am very good at sympathy and advising but not so good at true empathy.  My natural inclination is to try and ‘fix it’.

A lot of us do this as we want to ease another person’s distress.  This has made me realize why I have often felt frustrated when I am telling a problem to a friend and they are already advising before I have finished ‘my story’.  It feels so much better when a friend just listens with their ‘whole being’ rather than with their mind.

My awareness of true empathy is growing the more I practice compassionate communication.  The change is also enabled by a different awareness of how I listen: am I listening quietly with my being or am I listening with my head – waiting to get my ‘two pennyworths in’!  True empathy can help when someone is angry:  instead of getting defensive we can truely listen and this will invariably create a shift which then enables resolution.

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