Comments on: ASSUME - What’s In A Word? http://talkeezeblog.talkingforpeace.com/2008/02/15/assume-whats-in-a-word/ Be the change you want to see in the world - Sun, 05 Sep 2010 11:38:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: Charlotte http://talkeezeblog.talkingforpeace.com/2008/02/15/assume-whats-in-a-word/#comment-84 Charlotte Mon, 19 May 2008 10:45:16 +0000 http://talkeezeblog.talkingforpeace.com/2008/02/15/assume-whats-in-a-word/#comment-84 My boyfriend recently fell ill and because he is away from home at university I thought that it would be nice of me to get him a few things from the shop so that he did not need to leave his house. After I dropped the bag off with his house-mate I returned home feeling like I had done my good deed for the day only to be upset when he sent me a text saying "why do I never leave things alone, and that he had said that he didn't need anything". I felt extremely upset from this text and immediately sent him an angry text back with obvious undertones that I thought that he was being ungrateful. After I had had some time to think I realised that I had ASSUMED that what I thought was a nice idea, was the same for my boyfriend. I then sent him an email saying that I had not meant for the gesture to annoy him and explained my reasoning behind it so that he would not ASSUME anything behind the gesture either. I then said that I would not do anything else but that if he needed me then he could ask me. By learning to not assume things we have managed to get through a very stressful period by simply stating our needs and not assuming that the other person's needs are the same as our own. My boyfriend recently fell ill and because he is away from home at university I thought that it would be nice of me to get him a few things from the shop so that he did not need to leave his house. After I dropped the bag off with his house-mate I returned home feeling like I had done my good deed for the day only to be upset when he sent me a text saying “why do I never leave things alone, and that he had said that he didn’t need anything”. I felt extremely upset from this text and immediately sent him an angry text back with obvious undertones that I thought that he was being ungrateful.

After I had had some time to think I realised that I had ASSUMED that what I thought was a nice idea, was the same for my boyfriend.

I then sent him an email saying that I had not meant for the gesture to annoy him and explained my reasoning behind it so that he would not ASSUME anything behind the gesture either. I then said that I would not do anything else but that if he needed me then he could ask me. By learning to not assume things we have managed to get through a very stressful period by simply stating our needs and not assuming that the other person’s needs are the same as our own.

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